


memories detected

by cosmicfuss



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor loves human holidays, Fluff, Gardens & Gardening, Hank and Connor are found family, Lovers to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Hank Anderson, please see a/n, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 00:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17477903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicfuss/pseuds/cosmicfuss
Summary: They first meet for a case and it leaves a bitter taste.They first meet in a lab and it leads to a decades-long tale.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please note that this is my first time formatting a story like this and it took a lot of testing! if there's anything out of whack please leave a comment letting me know! when you see something bold and underlined:  
> on PC hover over the text with your mouse  
> on mobile tap the text
> 
> I really hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried something new for this work so when there's bold/italics/underlined sections of text you should:  
> on PC hover mouse over text  
> on mobile tap the text
> 
> i had to type everything in html for this to work so let me know if there's any mistakes i didn't catch!! i hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> (also feel free to choose 'entire work' while you read because this was intended to be a oneshot)

_**[ALL SYSTEMS REBOOTING]**_

_****_

**15 February, 2027, Monday**

"Power on successful," the sound of typing, "Serial ID?"

"313 248 317 - 01" It says, voice new to its own ears. Where is it? What's it doing there? Who is it with?

"Good, open your eyes." It does. The room is sterile and white, machinery of various sizes and uses pushed against walls. A man is sitting at a desk, eyes flickering between the computer and it. "Begin initialization text." Automatically, it scans him. _Elijah Kamski, born 17 July, 2002. Age 24. Founder and CEO of CyberLife._

"Hello, I am a prototype RK800 android. I can scan evidence, reconstruct crime scenes, and predict immediate interaction, as well as speak over three hundred languages. I am designed to blend optimally among humans, and am adept in cases of information gathering or espionage. Would you like to give me a name?"

Kamski chuckles slightly at that, and its scans immediately analyze him. _Slouched position will cause spinal issues ranging from discomfort to long-term pains; recommendation is to adjust chair and sit properly._ It doesn't say this, it instead waits for further instruction.

"What name would you like to pick?" It doesn't understand; it is a machine not meant to _like_ , to _prefer_. It automatically scans lists of popular male names, settling on one as close to random as its algorithms will allow.

"Connor." Kamski brightens slightly at this, a stand of hair thoughtlessly falling against his forehead as he types.

"Well, Connor, please stand and try walking." It does. It's almost awkward at first, almost stumbling, but within seconds it has learned to properly balance, to stride, to sway and rock and remain upright. _Human infants develop for approximately fourteen months before they are able to walk upright_ , its processor tells it. "Locomotion successful," the man mumbles again, fingertips hitting the keyboard at an above average rate.

Connor watches him in silence, awaiting his next orders. There is silence for precisely four minutes and forty-eight seconds, setting aside the near-inaudible whir of machinery and the man's typing. Connor scans him again. _Darkness under eyes due to lack of sleep coupled with probable dehydration and staring at monitors; recommendation is sleep and intake of fluids._

"Connor, is there anything in your systems you would like to report." It finds this phrasing odd but the mechanic need to make a report overpowers the notion.

_****_

"All of my systems are fully operational with no current issues, Mr. Kamski." He watched the man hum thoughtfully, otherwise quiet. "Mr. Kamski, may I ask what my mission is?"

"You're still a prototype so we'll be running you through various simulations and physical tests to determine how well you work." Connor nodded, remaining still as Kamski stood and stretched. It followed him out of the room and down a series of halls, each twist committed to memory.

The first was a series of apprehending attackers with a variety of situational factors- some had bystanders whose protection prioritized apprehension, some had multiple assailants, guns, crowbars, hand-to-hand, optimal and high-risk weather.

A little girl walked with her mother as a car sped down the road. Connor could tell it was manual, autonomous vehicles were still rather expensive for middle to upper income households, and the driver was inebriated. Near them was a thief who reportedly had over two hundred thousand dollars of precious stones with him.

The car was coming towards the three individuals.

X Continue with mission - Take down target  
_O Abandon mission - Rescue family_

Connor grabbed the little girl by the waist, arm looping through the mother's as he pulled them to safety. The car hit a streetlight, and over the dented hood Connor watched the target disappear into an unmarked car that sped off.

He had failed.

_****_

Connor was taken out of the simulation, multiple people surrounding him as he blinked into awareness. _Jason Graff, age 32. Danielle Carnegie, age 43. Philip Seymor, age 42. All members of board of executives at CyberLife._ Kamski stood with them, less displeased than his coworkers. 

"I thought you said it was finally ready," Graff huffed, arms crossed.

"This was just the first day of testing. It was expected that bugs would appear, I just need to get rid of them." Kamski's tone was light and hinted at mirth, his eyes unworried as Graff and Carnegie stood impatiently. Seymor sighed, obviously disappointed.

"We'll be waiting to see what it can do next time, then." The words settled the tense air in the room as Kamski grinned.

"Of course, you'll be impressed." Kamski's upturned lips didn't falter when he turned towards Connor, if anything growing wider. "Let's go take a look at your systems, then." Connor nodded, following Kamski down a different route back to the lab. Connor didn't ponder the change, simply memorized everything he saw.

...

**19 April, 2027, Monday**

"Open your eyes and state your serial ID." The voice was familiar, in a distant, fuzzy way. It does as told. There's a man, hunched over in a seat, hands clasped tightly. _Elijah Kamski, age 24. Founder and current CEO of CyberLife. Typically dehydrated and likely suffers from insomnia._

Why did it know that?

"313 248 317 - 23." Kamski nodded, and Connor answered his next question with ease, words leaving his mouth naturally. _Connor?_

"What name would you like to pick?" This, too, feels familiar. _Searching . . . Humans call this feeling déjà vu._

"I am Connor."

_****_

Kamski's lips turn up slightly, and Connor doesn't know why. Humans have unpredictable behavior at times, minds that process things differently than its own processors. Kamski has unpredictable behavior. 

"What is my mission, Mr. Kamski?" Connor asks, because he knows he needs one, needs to have this purpose.

"You're a prototype, so we'll be running simulations and testing your physical capabilities." The arches of Kamski's arms as he stretches is familiar as the new sight burns itself into its perfect memory.

Kamski instructs Connor to walk beside him, and it has no issues navigating next to the human as they make their way to the second location. There are people there, two more men and a woman. _Jason Graff, age 32. Danielle Carnegie, age 44. Philip Seymor, age 42. All members of board of executives at CyberLife._

Connor takes a seat, lets Kamski plug a cable into the base of its neck as the simulation displays on a screen for them to see.

There is a gunman, charged with murder, theft, and kidnapping. The man has a hostage, an adolescent girl, age 14. He has killed her parents and stolen their valuables including a safe the family kept, total worth approximately twenty thousand dollars. He has a gun pointed to her head.

Connor analyzes the situation.

Connor can rush the gunman, likely risking the girl's life and placing her survival at 21% but easily subduing the target at 92% and acquiring the stolen items. Connor can talk him down using his social systems, lowering the risk to the child and raising her survival chance to an optimal 87% but risking him getting away at 74%.

X Accomplish mission - End girl's life  
_O Risk mission - Protect girl's life_

Connor set his gun on the ground slowly, an understanding smile overtaking his lips. The man watches, stress level lowering by 6% as he eyes the abandoned gun.

"I understand why you did this. It's okay, I understand. You need the money for your ill wife, and these people had so _much_. What was a few bucks to them, right?" Connor's voice is soothing, and the man's hand trembles as his mind races. Connor predicts his next movements, knows how and where to step.

The man tosses the little girl toward the ledge of the building, Connor's hands stopping her from falling the six stories. The girl clings to him, refuses to let go, screams and begs him to stay. And Connor watches the man descend, shimmying down a sturdy pipe attached to the building.

Mission failed.

_****_

...

**12 May, 2027, Monday**

"313 248 317 - 38." _Elijah Kamski, age 24. Founder and current CEO of CyberLife. Insomniac, often dehydrated, and typically follows unpredictable behavioral patterns._

Why does he know that? Connor shouldn't know that.

_He? Connor?_

_****_

"What name would you like to pick?" The android doesn't even think about the answer: Connor. _I am Connor_. There's a weary smile on his lips that Connor knows to be uncharacteristic of the man. His shoulders are slumped. _He is exhausted; recommendation is sleep and plenty of fluids._

Kamski stands and they walk together to the second lab where Connor will be tested. Connor's feet go automatically to the location, sometimes reacting quicker than Kamski to bend around a turn. Why does he know this? He? 

It is an android developed for information gathering and espionage. 

_****_

He sees the other three executive board members. _Jason Graff, age 33. Danielle Carnegie, age 44. Philip Seymor, age 42._ Connor is connected to the screen so they can watch the simulation.

It is an android in front of Connor. Connor knows it is an android because its LED is flashing red at an alarming rate, its stress levels up to 88%. Connor thinks it cannot possibly be an android, because in its eyes are tears. Its face is blue, as if a human’s would be red from the exertion and stimulation of crying.

It is a deviant.

Connor's processors tell him that it is his mission to hunt deviants and bring them to his registered police department. There is no police department, this is a simulation. There is a deviant in front of him.

"Please, please, I just wanted to get away." Want? Androids do not _want_. Deviants _want_. Connor is facing a deviant. She is an AJ700 with short, light brown hair and brown eyes, designed for household chores. 

Connor's mission is to hunt deviants. This deviant is crying, begging to escape.

 _X - Finish mission: Bring deviant to police department  
_O - Disregard mission: Let deviant escape

"You are a deviant, you must be brought back to the police department." He cannot show pity, he is an android.

_He? It. It. It is an android._

_****_

Connor is pulled out of the simulation and is greeted with wide smiles. It feels a sense of accomplishment at having executed its mission. Kamski has a tight-lipped smile, unseen by his colleagues and unmissed by Connor. Connor concludes that this simulation will not be the end of its testing.

...

**15 August, 2038**

Connor knows his mission. Save the little girl, secure the android.

_[Mission: Save hostage at all costs]_

Something about this is an echo to Connor, but he doesn't know why. He believes it's due to the plethora of simulations he's already managed to run through his head. He looks at an empty gun case on the floor and registers the evidence.

 _Deviant took the father's gun_. 

Connor looks over the father's body, analyzing clues. He dropped something. Connor scanned the area and unlocked a tablet on the floor. A payment confirmation for an AP700.

 _Deviant was going to be replaced._

Connor went to the girl's room, unlocking a tablet.

_"This is Daniel, the best android in the world! Say hi, Daniel!"_

_" Hello!"_

_"You're my bestie, we'll always be together," the girl laughed, arms tossed around the android's shoulders._

Connor set the tablet down. _Deviant did not want to be replaced._

Connor walked out, spotted a shoe on the floor in the direction of the hostage and deviant. _Girl could be injured._ Fresh thirium was on the ground, and Connor analyzed it. _PL600_. His eyes lifted to the door to the patio, left ajar as an armored officer stood by the protection of the wall.

Connor walked out, immediately shot in the shoulder. Androids do not feel pain. The little girl shrieked. The deviant was on the ledge, girl held in one of his arms, gun in the other.

"Hi Daniel," the deviant began to ask how Connor knew that but he barreled on. "My name is Conner.

"How do you know my name?" It demanded.

 _X - Be calm: Reassure Daniel  
_O - Release: Demand Daniel let hostage go

"I know a lot about you, I've come to get you out of this. I know you're angry, but you need to trust me and let me help you." Connor took small steps forward, yelling over the wind and helicopter above them. 

"I don't want your help!" _Want_. Deviants want things, feel things. "Nobody can help me. All I want is for this to stop!" Daniel held the gun to her head, silent tears falling from the girl's eyes. 

X - Realistic: Tell Daniel there's no way out of this  
_O - Emma: Remind him of his care for the girl_  
△ - Cause: Ask Daniel why he's doing this __  


"I know you and Emma are very close, you think she betrayed you but she's done nothing wrong." Connor took more steps towards Daniel, unbothered by the roaring winds.

"She lied to me! I thought she loved me, but I was wrong. She's just like all the other humans," Daniel's voice mimicked human emotion, mimicked _betrayal_ and _hurt_. Deviants do not feel real hurt, real betrayal, real emotion; it is an error in their programming.

X - Realistic: Tell Daniel he's going to be disassembled  
_O - Cause: Ask Daniel why he's doing this  
_

"They were going to replace you and you became upset. That's what happened right?" Connor edged even closer, voice quieting the slightest bit with the lessening distance.

"I thought I was part of the family. I thought I mattered." Daniel's LED blinked yellow, very slowly. Then, like it never had, it was back to a solid yellow. "But I was just their toy, something to throw away when you're done with it!

"I can't stand that noise anymore, tell that helicopter to get out of here!"

 _X - Accept: Wave that situation is under control  
_O - Refuse: Risk escalation

The sound of whipping blades lessened.

"I want everyone gone, I wanna leave! A-And when I'm outside the city I'll let her go.

X - Sacrifice self: Trade places with little girl  
_O - Compromise: Trade girl for safety  
_△ - Refuse: Daniel must give himself in

"That's impossible Daniel. Let the girl go and I promise you won't be hurt." The deviant's stress level rose 2%.

"I don't wanna die.

X - Sacrifice self: Trade places with little girl  
_O - Reassure: Tell Daniel he won't die  
_△ - Truth: Tell Daniel he'll be disassembled

"You're not going to die, we're just going to talk. Nothing will happen to you, you have my word." Connor watched his stress levels decrease 40%, probability of success at 100%. 

"Okay, I trust you." He set Emma down. Three shots fired at Daniel. One, the left side of his ribs. Two, his right shoulder. Three, the left side of his face. Daniel fell to his knees, staring at Connor. "You lied to me, Connor. You lied to me."

_****_

_Mission successful._

Connor left the scene, ordering a cab to take back to CyberLife. He made his way to a charging station and stepped up to it, closing his eyes as it attached.

Connor opened his eyes.

Lush flowers and a calm, serene pond was in front of him. He spotted Amanda tending to roses, as she typically was. It seemed to be something the AI was programmed to enjoy, much as the zen garden was programmed to imitate real weather and withering.

"What did you make of the case?" Her tone was light, a sign that he had done well.

 _X - Overwhelmed: Talk about Daniel_  
O - Regrets: Express regret over Daniel being killed  
△ - Deviancy: Ask about deviancy 

"It seemed overwhelmed by emotions, or how deviants perceive emotion. It seemed as if its original programming had been completely replaced. It was designed to help the family, and instead hurt it." Connor watched her work, spraying the roses that were, in truth, in no more danger of dying than he himself was.

Androids are not alive. Interrupted, he had meant. He cannot die.

"Lieutenant Anderson has officially been assigned all deviancy cases. You will be working with him. How do you intend to proceed?"

 _X - Friendly: Get Lt. to trust Connor_  
O - Adapt: Connor must be able to adapt to any situation  
△ - Indifferent: It is irrelevant as long as Connor can solve the cases with the Lt.

"I will try to establish a friendly relationship. If I can get him to trust me it will be helpful for the investigation." Amanda stopped spraying flowers and turned to him, a sign he had answered poorly.

"More and more androids are showing signs of deviancy. If they become unstable it will be disastrous. You are the most advanced prototype CyberLife has ever created, if anyone can stop this it's you."

"You can count on me, Amanda."

Connor closed his eyes.

...

**6 November, 2038**

In short, there was little the Lieutenant would rather do compared to work with Connor. Their first case together went... poorly. Connor did as designed- gathered evidence, reconstructed the scene, apprehended the suspect.

And then Detective Reed had pressured the deviant too hard. It smashed it's frontal cortex into the table, self-destructing under the immense pressure. Connor felt it was an improvement that Lieutenant Anderson stopped Detective Reed from shooting Connor, at least.

Later, Lieutenant Anderson displayed a small amount of trust by taking Connor to a food truck- Chicken Feed's products were above the daily caloric, sodium, and cholesterol intake recommendations. Lieutenant Anderson partook in an illegal gamble with Pedro Aabdar.

Connor viewed the excursion as improvement.

They were called for another case.

This one entailed an apartment full of pigeons and obsessive writing of the characters _Ra9_ on a bathroom wall, 2,471 times. Connor reconstructed.

 _Deviant heard us arrive, fell off stool while writing_ Ra9 _on wall. It knocked into a cage, which fell onto the ground. It kept a hidden journal, impossible to decipher. It hid. It's here. It's hiding._

Connor peered up into the gap in the ceiling, his processors registering a mass coming down at him just in time to step out of its path of travel. Connor snapped to attention, chasing after it as it fled the building. Connor barreled down stairs, out doors, over carts and tables outside.

Connor pursued the deviant through a small plot of wheat, over hay bales, and around a greenhouse. He estimated that Lieutenant Anderson would be catching up, though no time soon. The deviant slid down glass onto a train, Connor close behind.

Connor could not fail.

He jumped onto a ladder, never letting the deviant out of his sight. There was a different route to this location, the lieutenant would not be far. Connor pushed through stalks of corn, emerging just in time to see the deviant shove Lieutenant Anderson over the edge, the man hanging on by an arm.

Chance of survival at 86%, with a chance of catching up at 67%. Chance of catching if pursued, 92%.

 _X - Save Hank  
_O - Pursue the deviant

 _ ****_

"You saved me," Lieutenant was breathless, looking at Connor in a strange fascination. Connor nodded, turned, ran.

They apprehended the deviant. It jumped to its death, last words being _Ra9 save me_.

 _Not death_ , androids _do not_ die. Connor stood, looking down at the mangled body- _parts_ , not body- of the deviant. He reported the body- _androids do not live, they do not die_ \- to get it cleaned up, LED flickering yellow.

It remained yellow as he stood there, no longer sending communications.

 _ ****_

Connor went back to CyberLife. Plugged in to a charging station. He didn't need to, but it was a place to return to, somewhere to go. He closed his eyes.

Rain fell on his synthetic skin in the garden, and he gazed around for a familiar figure. They went on a walk, her smile telling him he'd still done well.

Connor didn't feel like he'd done well. _Connor didn't feel_. Connor viewed his latest mission as lackluster, he could've done better.

"You managed to find that deviant, Conner, you did good. What did you learn?"

"The walls of the apartment were covered in the phrase _Ra9_ , along with labyrinths and symbols. It also had an encrypted diary, which may take weeks to decipher." Connor wouldn't have the time for it, with such an influx in deviancy cases.

"We don't have much time. If deviancy continues to spread, it's only a matter of time before the media finds out about it. We need to stop this, whatever it takes." Connor heard the underlying message of _or you will be disassembled, deactivated_. He thought of Daniel.

 _ ****_

"I will solve this investigation, Amanda."

"Another case was just reported, find the lieutenant and solve it."

Connor nodded, already calling for a taxi as he left CyberLife's doors. The lieutenant, as it turned out, had far more personal issues than Connor had originally assumed. He saw him through a window, passed out on the kitchen floor.

Connor broke in, heard a low growl.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here to help your owner," Connor thought back to the lieutenant's desk. "Sumo, easy, I'm your friend." The dog stared at Connor a moment longer before leaning closer, licking a stripe up his cheek.

Connor smiled, patting the dog's head. He liked dogs.

He didn't like this situation, though. He helped Hank up, looking at the gun on the floor- one bullet in a revolver, Russian Roulette- and practically carried the man to the bathroom. Hank, on his part, had some rather colorful words for Connor.

Most of them included the phrase, "fuckin' android."

Connor sprayed cold water on the man, reporting the death at Club Eden. "I understand, Lieutenant, it probably wasn't worth investigating anyway. A man found dead in a sex club downtown, guess they'll have to solve the case without us."

"I guess it wouldn't do any harm to get some air," Connor grinned at that, going to get the man clothes when told. He left the items on the counter, closing the door to hear the sound of retching. Had Connor been human, this alone probably would've triggered his own gag reflex.

Connor went to the kitchen, putting the gun back on the table. A message popped up; _Hank has suicidal tendencies (?)_. His eyes locked onto a picture frame, picking it up to see a young boy. _Cole Anderson, born 23 August, 2029, died 11 October, 2035._ Connor set it back down, gently.

He observed the living room. Lieutenant Anderson, apparently, greatly enjoyed jazz music. Sumo nosed his leg, and Connor bent down to pat his head. 

They arrived to the crime scene to see Detective Reed by the body- he made a quick, rude exit at their arrival. Connor analyzed, reconstructed.

 _Strangulation, no signs of heart attack._ Connor reactivated it and for that one second between off and on, however brief, Connor could feel the _fear_ that the Traci had felt.

 _ ****_

The Traci shot up, gasping, crawled away until her back hit the wall. Connor took a breath- unnecessary, androids don't require oxygen- and stayed crouched down to look at her.

 _X Explain - Tell Traci what happened  
_O Demand - Force the Traci to answer

"You were damaged and I reactivated you, everything is alright." Connor could hear Hank pace, likely nervous.

"Is he, is he dead?" Connor nodded, he needed her to tell him what happened. _One minute until Traci shutdown_.

"Tell me what happened, did you kill him?" She calmed down slightly, words coming easier.

"He started hitting me. Again, and again, and again. But I- I didn't kill him, I was already in shutdown, I don't remember-" _Forty seconds until Traci shutdown_.

"Who killed that man if it wasn't you?" Connor pressed, "Were you alone, was anyone else with you?"

"I- He wanted to play with two girls." _Ten seconds_.

"What model, did she look like you?" Connor felt his voice raise 3%. She didn't answer, her time up.

"It happened over an hour ago, it's long gone," Lieutenant Anderson said, tone flat.

"No, it couldn't have gone out like that unnoticed. It might still be here. We might be able to look for eye witnesses." And like that, Connor was on the chase. He went up to the android outside the murder room, getting the lieutenant to pay so he could probe its memories.

Connor followed the deviant's trail, leading them to a large storage room.

An android, different from the one in all the flashes of memories, had a solid red LED. The second he saw it and registered the color, she lunged at him, the blue haired Traci he'd seen going after the lieutenant.

It was difficult, fighting two androids at once, but he'd been designed to fight. And they, well. Hadn't.

A time came where he was pointing a gun at the one who'd attacked him, she was rushing over at him. Connor dropped the gun.

 _ ****_

The androids escaped.

"It was probably better this way," Hank said, and Connor believed him.

 _ ****_

Not many hours later, only one in the morning, Connor sat in the lieutenants car, the man's phone blasting death metal. Connor watched his unmoving form on a bench, only getting out close to thirty minutes later.

"The deviants have nothing in common," Connor stated, voice edged with frustration he knew he didn't feel. It had to be part of his socialization software, designed to make him reflect human traits and mannerisms.

"What they have in common is their obsession with Ra9, like it's some kind of myth, something they invented that wasn't part of their original programming." Connor glanced at Lieutenant Anderson, who drank another heavy swig of alcohol.

"You seem preoccupied. Is it something to do with what happened at the Eden Club?" Connor watched the lieutenant's heavy shudder, either from the cold or alcohol or not wanting to talk- Connor didn't know.

"Those two girls just wanted to be together. They really seemed, fuck I don’t know, in love." Connor paused a moment, LED blinking yellow in thought.

 _X - Ironic: Didn't know Hank cared about androids_  
O - Deviants: They think they feel human emotions  
△ - Cold: Androids cannot feel, are not alive

"You seem troubled Lieutenant, I didn't think machines could have such an effect on you." Connor felt that it wasn't the wisest path, that he should reiterate that machines don't _feel_. He should've expected it to get thrown back at him.

"What about you, Connor? You look human, sound human. But what are you, really?"

X - Cold: I am a machine  
_O - Neutral: Whatever you want  
_△ - Defensive: I know what I am

"I'm whatever you want me to be, Lieutenant. Your partner, your buddy to drink with, your friend, or just a machine. Designed to accomplish a task." _Friend?_

_****_

"You coulda shot those girls but you didn't. Why didn't you _shoot_ , Connor? Some scruple suddenly enter into your program?" Connor stumbled as Hank shoved him, pushing and jabbing at his shoulder to make a point, to get a rise, Connor wasn't certain. _Humans can be unpredictable at times_. 

X - Lie  
_O - Truth_

"No, I just decided not to shoot that's all." Hank put a gun to Connor's head. Connor wasn't afraid, Hank wouldn't shoot him. _Hank will not shoot, I will not die. Die?_

 _ ****_

"But are you afraid to die, Connor?"

X - Yes  
O - No  
_△ - Deflect_

"I would certainly find it regrettable to be interrupted before I can finish this investigation," Connor's words came out carefully but truthfully.

"So what happens if I pull this trigger? Nothing? You go to android heaven?" Connor could only think of one response to that.

"I doubt there's a heaven for androids."

"Having existential doubts, Connor? Sure you're not going deviant too?" Connor didn't flinch as Hank's finger moved to the trigger, barely touching it.

"I self-test regularly. I know what I am and what I am not." There was a conviction to his words that convinced Connor they were true, convinced Hank too because he put the gun to his side. Hank offered to let him stay at his house on the couch.

Connor thought it was better- easier, quicker, more efficient- than going back to CyberLife. 

Connor laid on the couch, Hank telling him he'd shoot to kill if he walked out to pee and saw Connor's figure looming in a corner somewhere. Connor closes his eyes to the scent of Sumo, cheap alcohol, and wall febreze; he can’t help but think of the rigidness he’s used to, disinfectant, floor wax, and wire oil in the air.

When he sees Amanda, Connor's biocomponents feel oddly cold.

_****_

Why?

When Amanda questions why Connor didn't shoot he knows his answer displeases her but he has no other.

_I don't know._

When she says if he continues this stalemate, if he doesn't make progress soon, she tells him he may be replaced.

_I don't want to be decommissioned. I don't want to be disassembled. I don't want to die._

_I will not die, I am not alive._

_****_

...

**8 November, 2038**

Another crime scene. No murders. Deviants sent a message to the world.

The deviants were very specific in not killing anybody, they tied up the guards and the humans in the control center. They fled via parachutes off the roof. The roof has not been checked fully yet.

Connor analyzes the androids' message before going to the roof. _Evidence of accomplices, seen in deviant’s right eye._

"Anything I should know?" Hank asks, and Connor's answer is immediate.

"No, nothing." 

_****_

On the roof, there was a trail of evaporated thirium, visible only to Connor's eyes. He followed it to a storage container, a smudge of thirium wiped over the handle.

Connor opened it.

Connor was shot.

He and Hank take cover behind another container, giving Connor enough time to analyze the situation. A PL600. Daniel. _Not Daniel, this is simply another model of the same kind._

_X - Rush: Go to deviant and disarm, chance of success 76%_  
O - Stay: Shoot deviant from afar, chance of success 82%

Connor's processors whirred at higher-than-average speeds. He was designed to dodge even bullets if necessary. The actions felt familiar and practiced, though he had no memory of being in a situation like this. His programming, he assumed

Connor made it to the deviant, tried to probe its memory.

The deviant shot itself while they were connected, and Connor's biocomponents felt a familiar cold sensation as his thirium regulator increased pace at a dramatic rate. _Fear. Dying._

_Dying is not the same as being 'interrupted.' Connor does not want to die._

_****_

_****_

"I'm okay," Connor told Hank, voice quiet and anything but. His LED was spinning scarlet, though he didn't think to control it, to school it back to blue that signified that he was _okay_.

"For fuck's sake I told you not to move, why do you never do what I say?" Connor automatically scanned Hank. _Hank is angry due to worry, elevated heart rate, stress levels 68%._

"I was connected to its memory. When it fired- I felt it die. Like I was dying, I was scared." Connor shouldn't be saying this. Connor shouldn't be feeling this. Connor shouldn't _feel._

_****_

The two returned to the car shortly after, having gained the word _Jericho_.

"I feel that it's time we spoke with an expert on androids," Connor said, LED once again a calm cerulean, his tone normal. It was just initial shock, _he is not compromised, he is not deviant_.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Lemme make some calls when we get back." Surprisingly, Hank did not mutter _fuckin' androids_ under his breath.

...

 **9 November, 2038**

Elijah Kamski's foyer was certainly something to behold. The first picture they saw upon entering was a large portrait of Kamski, which Connor identified to be as Kamski at age nineteen.

There was natural decor, plants in pots and even large stones that sat in a corner as if it had glitched in from the snow outside.

"Nice girl," Hank commented about the blonde android that had let them in.

"You're right, she's really pretty." It made sense to Connor that Kamski would have beautiful things surrounding him. Humans, after all, had a sense of superficiality and materialism that often urged them to do so.

"You're about to meet your maker, Connor. How's that feel?" Connor does not feel.

"Kamski is one of the great geniuses of the 21st century. It will be interesting to meet him in person." This is true. Hank sat in a chair as Connor stood, flipping his coin around his knuckles and tossing it hand to hand.

"Elijah will see you now," the android said pleasantly, motioning towards the room.

Kamski was in a pool, the tiles red to make it appear as though it were blood or wine. _In the past, it's been thought by the lower class that the ostentatiously wealthy must swim in wine, a pricey luxury. Kamski has an ironic, aware sense of humor._

Kamski swam in the pool, calling to them, "Just a moment please." He did two more laps before finally exiting. _Kamski wants us to wait, to feel uncomfortable. It is-_ Connor's processors searched for a like term- _a power move._

When he got out, the android tied a thigh-length black robe around him. _Kamski ties his robe in the Japanese fashion of the dead. Kamski has a morbid sense of humor_.

For the first time, Connor looked at Kamski's face.

_Elijah Kamski, age 36. History of insomnia, dehydration, and unpredictable behavior. Has bad vision, no glasses, eye surgery? Lenses?_

_Why do I know this?_

_**** _

"I'm Lieutenant Anderson, this is Connor." Hank's tone was flat, clearly unamused and not quite yet agitated.

"What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" Kamski put a hand on his wrist in front of him, postured specifically. _Kamski does not enjoy his space being violated._

"Sir we're investigating deviants. I know you left CyberLife years ago, but I was hoping you'd be able to tell us something we don't know." Kamski's eyes flitted to Connor for a moment.

"Deviants," his eyes returned to Hank. "Fascinating, aren't they? Perfect beings with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will. Machines are so superior to us, confrontation was inevitable." _Kamski wishes to make a point. Kamski's behavior is often not predictable._

"Deviancy seems to spread," Connor spoke up, "like some kind of virus. We thought you might know something about that."

"All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics, is the desire to be free a contagious disease?" _Yes_ , Connor doesn't say, because deviancy _does_ show patterns of spreading at a rapid, uncontrollable rate. Connor's thirium regulator's rate increases 2% when Kamski walks towards him.

"What about you, Connor? Whose side are you on?"

X - Defensive  
_O - Neutral  
_△ - Direct

"I have no side, I was designed to stop deviants and that's what I intend to do." This is right, this is the correct answer. Kamski should be pleased. Kamski is not pleased.

"Well, that's what you were programmed to say. But _you_ , Connor," Kamski walked closer to him, 5.7 inches from his face. "What do you really want?" There was a certain familiarity to this Connor could not place, along with something his processors supplied as _intimacy._

X - Defensive  
O - Neutral  
_△ - Troubled  
_

"What I want is not important." Connor didn't know what Kamski saw in his eyes, but he called Chloe over. The android came over, knelt willingly on the ground in front of Connor. Connor listened to Kamski's speech, _whether machines are capable of empathy_. 

_The Kamski Test_.

Connor knows about this situation. Why does Connor know about this situation? Kamski brings out a gun, calmly and slowly to not trigger Hank into action. Kamski takes his hand and puts the gun in it, raises Connor's arm towards the Chloe. Connor can feel Kamski’s body heat all the way down his arm; Connor is not used to physical closeness.

 _Kamski is often unpredictable_. 

"Destroy this machine and I'll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it's alive, but you'll leave here having learned nothing from me." Kamski's voice traveled around him as he walked, settling in front of him, near Chloe.

Connor's LED whirred amber.

Hank tried to interrupt, to get Connor to leave. Connor did not move.

"What's more important to you Connor, your investigation or the life of this android?" Connor's LED flashed, rapidly. "Decide who you are," Kamski's voice was quiet, hushed, meant for only Connor. This close, this quiet, Connor could detect faint traces of sandalwood.

"An obedient machine, or a living being, endowed with free will." Connor does not have free will, he is not alive. Connor has not yet shot Chloe. Chloe is staring up at him, intelligent eyes serene as she sat on her knees, gun pointed at her forehead.

"Connor, we're leaving."

"Pull the trigger-"

"Don't!"

"-And I'll tell you what you wanna know."

X - Shoot  
_O - Don't shoot_

Connor pushed the gun back to Kamski's chest.

_****_

Connor's LED slowed it's blinking, not yet back to blue.

"Fascinating. CyberLife's last chance to save humanity is itself a deviant." _Connor felt: shock, relief, frustration_.

_Connor does not feel._

_I am not a deviant._

"I'm," he was breathless, winded. He tried again. "I'm not a deviant." Good. Stronger. Kamski's look was indecipherable.

"You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission. You saw a living being in this android," a smile worked onto Kamski's face as he helped Chloe up. Genuine. "You showed empathy."

Connor listened as Kamski spoke, of wars and sides. _What could be worse than having to choose between two evils._

_Choose?_

"Let's get out of here," Hank bit out, forcible turning and pulling Connor towards the door. Connor resisted.

"Wait, Lieutenant, I-" _I?_ Kamski watched Connor carefully, a strange mixture of awe and mirth in his eyes. "No, you're right Lieutenant. We should go. Please take care of yourself, Mr. Kamski."

"Connor, what is your serial ID?" The question was abrupt and odd. _Kamski is often unpredictable_.

"313 248 317 - 51." The reply was the most robotic thing Connor had done the entire visit. Kamski hummed at that, a look between calculating and hurt flitting through his eyes so quick only Connor's emotive processors could have caught it. _Kamski did not intend for this emotion to be seen_. "Why is this important?"

"Oh no reason. But, if you came over again, I could tell you." Connor knew there was a reason, he knew he wanted to know the reason. Connor resolved to come again.

"Connor, let's go." They did, Kamski’s final warning of a backdoor the last thing they heard as the door shut behind them.

...

**14 November, 2038**

Connor did not return to Kamski's home for the duration of the war. Connor investigated, solved, reconstructed, analyzed, led, _deviated_.

Connor received a large sum of money, along with Markus and other android leaders, for their hand in freeing their people. Connor had freed hundreds of androids and was still feared as _the deviant hunter_.

Connor accepted this.

Connor did not accept returning to work with the DPD, not right away.

Connor showed up at Kamski's home, unprompted. He had promised, he reasoned, that he would return to talk to Kamski. Again, Chloe brought him into the house. This time, Kamski was already climbing out of the pool.

"Connor, I didn't think I'd see you today," Kamski grinned, Chloe tying his robe around him in the same fashion she had on his prior visit.

"Unfortunately I was kept rather busy and was unable to find time. Is today alright?" He walked to where Kamski stood, gazing out of his floor-to-ceiling windows.

"I imagine you'll find that any day is good, I don't get out much." Kamski chuckled, bringing Connor's attention to his face. _Signs of lack of sleep, signs of slight dehydration; recommendation is rest and a proper amount of fluids_.

 _X - Serial ID_  
O - Nostalgia  
△ - CyberLife

"Mr. Kamski, may I ask why you wanted to know my serial ID when I came last?" Kamski took another breath before answering, seemingly weighing the answer in his mind.

"I wanted to see how many times you've been reset. The base nine digits of your ID is your serial number, the last two being how many physical forms your memory core has been downloaded into or reset. You were once - 01." The earliest memory Connor has is being - 51.

He had been reset fifty times prior? _Why?_

X - Reset  
O - Nostalgia  
_△ - CyberLife  
_

"You used to be the CEO at CyberLife, what happened? It is common knowledge that you rescinded your position, however the details were never made public." Kamski's lips twist at that, a half-grimace.

"My board and I had... disagreements, on how the company would be continuing from that point onwards. We had different goals in mind. I wanted to innovate, they wanted to make profit." Connor's LED spun yellow as he processed this. It didn't feel like entirely new knowledge. _Why?_

X - Reset  
_O - Nostalgia_

"I feel as though I have more knowledge than I should concerning you, Mr. Kamski. I don't understand why. There are moments where I feel almost... nostalgic." Kamski's heartrate increases slightly in surprise, his eyes going immediately to Connor holding an expression he can’t read.

"In what way?" Kamski's tone was carefully void of emotion, face blank. Connor saw the slight dilation in his pupils as the man likely ran through alternate series of events in his mind, much like Connor himself could do.

"Like the fact that you were born with poor eyesight. You have a habit of not drinking proper amounts of water, often becoming consumed with work and becoming fatigued. I do not know why I know this, it's-" Connor's LED spun, contemplating, clear and blue. "Disconcerting."

"Every time an android is reset, its memories are supposed to be wiped entirely. A clean slate. But my RK series was always different. I only ever finished you and an RK200," Markus, Connor knew, "so I could never be absolutely certain it worked.

"I programmed you so that when you were reset, your knowledge would become latent, ready for use should you ever need it again. The RKs were always meant to be autonomous, meaning that every experience you gain will _always_ be yours." Connor's LED spun, quicker now.

Memories flashed through his mind. Dodging bullets, a task he assumed was made successful due to Connor's hyper-aware processors; he had been wrong. Knowledge of Kamski, he had refused to think of it and if he did he assumed it was his social processors computing physical and vocal data; he had been wrong.

"Why?" It was something Connor had wanted to ask for a long time- longer than even _he_ himself knew.

"Living beings can't be reset," Kamski answered simply, as if that was all there was to it. Maybe it was. _Elijah Kamski can be predictable_.

"Mr. Kamski, I-"

"Elijah, if you'd like."

"Elijah," Connor began again, testing the name on his tongue. "I'd like to thank you, for telling me about the back door." Kamski just looked at him, lips turned up in amusement. _Error: name 'Elijah.'_

"There really isn't a need for that. However, you could always drop by again. Two of the Chloe's left, so now it's just me and Chloe, the first. It gets lonely, sometimes." His tone didn't reflect loneliness, but Elijah had never been good at emoting certain feelings.

Connor's LED blinked gold as he got a call.

"I'm sorry, Hank is calling so I should leave. I will be by again." Elijah just smirked and waved him off, letting Connor see himself out.

...

**27 November, 2038**

Connor stared up at the ceiling, the entire space an assortment of jutting geometric shapes, black and white reflecting the red of the sun outside.

This had become something he enjoyed, listening to the sounds of lapping water while measuring the angles in his mind- it wasn't all they'd done, twice sitting in Elijah's kitchen/dining area as the man ate since Connor had arrived further towards the evening..

"Connor, you know you could always join me." Elijah chuckled, tone teasing.

"I don't mind, you have very interesting ceilings." He laughed again, pulling himself up to sit on the ledge of the pool, light skin on his legs reflecting bits of red that caught light. Connor looked at him, eyed his hair that clung to his skin.

"That's precisely what I'd been going for, _interesting_." The way he said it showed that it had not, in fact, been his intention. Connor hummed absently, something he'd picked up from perhaps spending too much time in Elijah's home.

He'd been over to the residence four times in the past thirteen days. Connor found that he had more free time now that he was on temporary break from working with the DPD- he still wasn't sure when he'd return, didn't know how to calculate when it would be appropriate.

He spent much of his time volunteering at an animal shelter, or otherwise taking on new hobbies. Connor found that he rather enjoyed the feeling of learning via trial and error, even if he was much quicker at it than humans.

He liked challenges.

He liked animals.

He liked spending time at Elijah's residence.

Connor sometimes felt that, maybe, he was being greedy. That he was indulging in too much. He thought of Daniel, of Simon, of the deviants he'd gotten killed when Jericho sunk. They didn't get to experience this, because Connor had taken that from them.

"Connor?" His LED stopped flashing, the yellow returning to a dull blue as he brought his attention back to Elijah.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Elijah just smiled, small and thoughtful and Connor knew that if the man had an LED it would probably be in a perpetual state of pulsing yellow in thought.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" Connor had the distinct feeling that this was not what Elijah had said, but a walk sounded... Nice.

"Yes, I think I'd enjoy that very much. It is 7.2 degrees Celsius, so a jacket and proper attire is highly advised." Connor waited as Elijah stood, disappearing through a door to change. When he emerged, Connor's scans told him that the fur coat Elijah wore was faux.

Elijah led him through the house, and Connor committed the turns and rooms he saw to memory. A door stood out to him, physically identical to all the rest and yet something about it _different_.

Behind it, Connor could catch a faint scent of _Santalum album,_ sandalwood- it would be completely unnoticeable to humans, but his sensors had been designed with the sensitivity of the flightless bird _Apterygiformes,_ the kiwi.

_****_

Connor followed Elijah through a door, stepping out onto a patio. The windchill made it feel approximately 4-5 degrees Celsius, fluctuating between the two. _Elijah's risk of sickness: 32%_

Connor walked beside Elijah, the two of them trekking easily over a well-kept trail. There wasn't much snow on the ground, so Connor could easily see the pathway stones under the light dust. It reminded Connor of the garden, and he figured this is maybe what drew the inspiration- or had he put them here because of the garden?

"Connor, do you know why I moved out here?" It seemed almost like a rhetorical question, but Connor's social processors picked up a note of genuity. 

X - Earnest  
_O - Sarcastic_

"I do not. Perhaps you got tired of being in your house so often?" Connor suggested, tone treading the line between even and humorous. Elijah laughed, breath coming out in a small puff. 

"Not quite, but that was a good try," Elijah's tone was teasing. "You've become much more sociable since your first visit with the Lieutenant." Connor recognized the change of topic, and let it go uncommented. 

"Deviancy seems to emulate human emotions so it would be the next logical step that our self-programming evolves mannerisms eventually. Admittedly, I feel as though I do not integrate among humans near to the extent I had been originally designed to." Connor watched Elijah's face, saw as a flurry of emotions and thoughts sped across his features. 

"Fascinating. Do you have any idea why?" Elijah's voice came out a little breathless- either due to the thinner winter air or awe, Connor didn't know. 

"Deviancy, perhaps. It causes our code to re-write itself at rapid rates, perhaps it undid certain functions that made integration easy." Elijah simply hummed at that, leading Connor further from the house. 

There was forest surrounding them, and Connor's ears detected a small stream still trickling despite the frigid air. The further they got, the more serene Connor felt. It was nice, walking like this. 

"What do you feel about this? You haven't picked up work again, right? You must have found some hobbies you enjoy." A small smile lifted Connor's lips as Elijah tilted his face up to look at him. 

"I spend time at an animal shelter. It's beneficial since I neither need sleep nor food so I can help when there's nobody else available at night. I've also taken up ceramics." Elijah's eyes widened a fraction before crinkling with a grin. 

"Somehow I can picture it, you sitting in a workshop shaping clay." There was a lot in that laugh, Connor thought. It was lighter than he'd ever heard from Elijah, almost youthful. 

"What about you, how has training in boxing been?" Elijah's steps faltered at that, and Connor felt something in his biocomponents shift. _No information detailing 'Elijah Kamski: hobbies' has been located on any search engine._

_****_

****

_****_

****

**_?? March, 2027_ **

_Connor sat comfortably in the large room. There was the whir of machinery, a constant for his surroundings. He could hear Kamski typing away steadily, though at roughly 40 words less per minute than he typically maintained._

__

_"Mr. Kamski, is anything wrong today?" Connor asked suddenly, the hands on the board stilling for a moment._

____

_"Of course not, why do you ask?" His social processors informed that this was likely a form of deflection and that, indeed, Mr. Kamski was not feeling up to his usual standard._

_____ _

_"Your words-per-minute rate has decreased by 20% comparative to roughly every other day I've seen you working. I am discounting outliers such as the week you came to work with a common cold and your sprained wrist which-"_

______ _ _

_"Connor if you remind me one more time about that sprain I'm going to lose it," Kamski sighed, his head dropping into his hands. Connor frowned, not having intended to upset him._

_______ _ _ _

_"Mr. Kamski, I wish to help you." Kamski looked up, corners of his mouth twitching upwards slightly._

________ _ _ _ _

_"It's nothing to worry about, really. I just took up boxing and messed up my fingers a bit, but they'll heal fine." Connor analyzed Kamski's biceps, slight frown deepening._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_"It is recommended that you build more muscle mass before entering any form of competition. The chances of you winning against someone practiced with a similar or higher muscle-to-fat ratio is 13%." Kamski chuckled, eyes turning back to his work._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I'm aware of that, which is why my partner was vinyl and sand. Connor, what's the probability I'll be able to go home on time today and be able to eat dinner before midnight?" Connor knew this was not a literal question._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"19%."_

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor's LED spun yellow so quickly it almost appeared solid, his mind too occupied to hear Elijah's "Connor?" until several moments later. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I apologize, Elijah. I recovered data from before one of my resets, though it did not include a timestamp." Connor summarized the event, and Elijah looked at him with that expression caught between awe, wonder, and the urge to experiment, to learn. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"No need to apologize, has anything like that ever happened before?" Connor thought of a shut door concealing what Connor knew was paper, the scent of sandalwood, peace. Connor shook his head. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah saw it, that something _more,_ but didn't push it. Connor gratefully continued walking, eyes shifting from tree to tree. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They were otherwise quiet, letting the sound of nature speak over them. Connor could hear birds, cawing and flitting through branches, could hear squirrels, chattering and bouncing on branches, could hear the stream, quiet and devoid of fish. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They followed the small stream until it grew larger, wider, deeper, became a lake. There was a rock cliff, a thin waterfall falling from the top. Connor felt it again, _nostalgia._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_****_

__________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_****_

__________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_**?? July, 2027** _

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Connor looked at the waterfall with some distaste. He didn't understand Elijah, sometimes, the man could be too unpredictable. He had insisted on taking Connor out to study human behavior but had instead brought him to a section of woods nearly an hour away._

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Said man grinned widely, an arm raised up as if he was saying 'Look, isn't it marvelous?'_

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Connor, this is the first time you've gotten to really experience nature, you should enjoy yourself!" Connor merely sighed as Elijah stripped his shoes and socks, then pants and shirt. The weather may have been 26.7 degrees Celsius but the water was still 21.4 Celsius._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Elijah, you run a 66% chance of getting sick if you swim here. We easily could have visited a swimming facility in Detroit that keeps water at the optimal temperature of 26.6 degrees Celsius." Elijah just hummed and sat on a rock, dropping up to his knees into the water._

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I won't have to return to work for another week anyway, plus I have you and Chloe until then. Nothing to worry about." Connor felt this was highly irresponsible but knew a losing argument before he began one._

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_CyberLife had allowed Elijah to bring Connor to his home- not that he'd offered too much choice- in return for valuable data on how he would work in real-life applications rather than simulations and tests._

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Connor, come sit."_

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor stared at the rock, the visual imprint of a younger Elijah, smiling, stuck in his mind. It wasn't exact, not the same location from the uploaded memory, but similar enough. Elijah noticed his pause, of course, but said nothing of it. 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor wasn't sure if the man had more perk in his step than before, but they had to return eventually. 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

... 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**24 December, 2038**

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I'd imagine so, he does seem the type." Elijah commented, the snap of another carrot between his teeth echoing around the room. Chloe had joined them in the den, a somewhat more frequent occurrence as the days went on. 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor liked it when Chloe was present. She made him feel at ease, though sometimes he'd still look at her and remember looking down the barrel of a gun, muzzle pressed to ivory, artificial skin. When it was the three of them something warm filled Connor, though his scans never revealed anything. 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I assured Hank that we would spend all of tomorrow together, as to respect the tradition. However, he denied the tradition many pet owners celebrate of adorning their pets in human clothing." Connor's tone held an obvious note of disappointment; he had lovingly picked out a large sweater for Sumo. 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor refrained a frown as he thought of his and Hank's parting conversation. 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Again? Con, listen, I get that I already said it before but that Kamski fuck's just, just weird okay?" Connor held back a sharp comment, because when Hank said 'already said it before' he meant 'make snide comments every other time you go over.'_

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Understandably, Hank wasn't comfortable with Elijah Kamski. It took active effort to sway Hank's opinion once it was set; it had been that way with drinking, with Russian Roulette, with androids in general, and with Connor himself. He never saw or interacted with Elijah, and so he was resolute in his impression of him._

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Hank, I understand that that is how you feel. I, however, greatly enjoy Elijah's presence. Due to things with Jericho I haven't been able to make the trip up, I've said this already." And he had, he'd said it last weekend when watching one of Hank's old movies, 'The Hangover,' 2009, one night and the man had waved it off, half asleep from the warmth of Sumo on his lap and the food in his stomach._

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I'm just sayin' it 'cause I'm worried about you, y'know," Connor did know, it was why he didn't really mind these- needless- worries Hank would tell him._

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Sometimes when Hank would spout threats at Detective Reed- who'd become slowly better though no less bitter since the revolution- Connor would hear the things Hank wasn't saying._

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Shut the fuck up, Reed, or do I gotta say it again so you can hear me so far up your ass?" Hank would snap at Reed, both of them nursing their morning coffees irritably. 'The revolution is over, learn to deal with that fact,' would be the implication._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Some dumbass flopped last week's case so someone had to fuckin' make up for it," could be heard as, 'Connor hasn't had time to 'sleep' thanks to your mistake in almost a week because Fowler assigned him the case solo while I got a new one, and that's worrying.'_

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Connor knew that, yes, Hank intended something along those vague lines and, yes, if he'd said them as he meant then they'd be filled with colorful expletives._

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I'll be home before morning, Hank, I promise." Hank had just smiled, small and barely-there, easily missed if not for Connor's enhanced eyesight. He offered his own, small and tentative and easily-missed as Hank's eyes stayed resolute on the screen before them._

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Distantly, Connor could hear Chloe and Elijah talking, probably about the movie Elijah had playing on the den's screen. Unlike Hank's choice of entertainment, Elijah seemed to prefer fantasy or science- based fiction, like their current film 'Bumblebee,' 2018. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It was already 19:24:06, meaning if Connor wanted to have enough time for a satisfactory stasis period before Hank woke up- likely around 9:30- tomorrow he really only had three, four if he pushed it, hours left at Elijah's home. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The thing was, though, that he found himself reluctant to leave. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Chloe had been the one to insist Elijah decorate the house earlier in the month- as she does every year, according to him- which had instantly garnered Connor's attention. Besides the tree and a few strings of lights, Hank didn't have much in lieu of seasonal decor. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor had been excited to help, seeing the bins of lights Chloe led him to. They shared grins, looking at Elijah together to which he'd responded with a huff of, "Do whatever you wish." Connor and Chloe had needed two separate days to decorate everything to their satisfaction- Chloe insisted she was fine with waiting for him to return, once it got time for Connor to drive home. He'd still come over the next day to continue. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Now, sitting under soft amber tones from strung up lights framing the den, smell of pine strong throughout the room, Connor felt his body melt into the couch. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It was the most relaxed he'd probably ever felt, his stress levels at a record low of only 3%. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Of course," Chloe nodded, rising from the puffy armchair she'd been in. Connor watched her cross the room, wondering what exactly he'd missed. She'd be back eventually, he figured. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor," Elijah started, automatically getting his attention. He looked more relaxed than normal but something still hung in his gaze, weighted his lips from reaching a full smile. "Do you remember anything else, about before?" Elijah didn't need to clarify further, though Connor was curious. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

X - Deflect  
_O - Truthful_

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What's brought this on, Elijah? And, to answer, no. Anything from before I began working with the DPD is," Connor paused, thinking. "Separate." Elijah quirked a brow, silent question obvious. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It's similar to interfacing with another android and seeing their memories. I can see it all from my own point of view, but it's as if I'm not the one present." Elijah nodded at this, eyes trained, unwatching, on the screen. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor felt a funny sense, one that his social processors supplied with _humans call this feeling déjà vu._

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Do you perhaps," it was hesitation that made Connor stop this time rather than thoughtfulness. "Do you wish I had all of my prior memories? From what I understand we were close, then." Elijah didn't say anything, and Connor felt his stress level rise to 11% and he continued on, 'foot in mouth' as the phrase went. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I do not mean to say we aren't close currently, as I am inclined to think we are. I was just wondering if I am missing something, some piece of me that's no longer available to you that you would prefer." Elijah's small chuckle finally, _finally,_ halted Connor's onslaught. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Sometimes, maybe. There are things that we've experienced that now only one of us recalls, it's only natural to wish for some sort of balance. But there's nothing about you that's changed from the way you were, nothing important." And it's that last amendment of _nothing important_ that keeps Connor's stress level steady, bringing it up 2% even. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah must be able to tell, because he continues. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I very much enjoy the way you are now, I am more than content with the way things are, Connor. If I weren't I surely wouldn't let you spend the holidays here," that puts Connor to ease, stress reducing to 6%. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Alright," and then, "thank you, Elijah." Elijah doesn't question him, Chloe wandering back into the room with a bowl of popcorn for Elijah. She and Connor share a look, his stress down to 4%. They finish the movie, and the next choice in films slightly surprises Connor for the fact that it's so misplaced amongst every other they've seen. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What, didn't think I liked an action movie every now and then?" Elijah teased, seeing Connor's curious look. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It isn't exactly similar to what you've played so far." All day it had been mid to late 2000's sci-fi movies, and before that day Elijah had once insisted they watch the entirety of the Lord of the Rings series- Connor had had to forcefully stop Elijah to sleep partway through, the man as stubborn as a child. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Truthfully I don't care much for them." Connor watched Elijah speak, saw the faraway look in his eyes as he likely reminisced. "Every year, though, my step-brother would absolutely _insist_ on watching this one on the basis that because it takes place during the Christmas season it qualifies as a Christmas movie." 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor smiled gently, saw Elijah's fingers twitch as he thought of his past. Connor hadn't known that Elijah had a step-brother, since he so seldom spoke of himself, much less his childhood. He didn't even keep pictures of his family around his home, not that Connor had seen anyway. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So they watched 'Die Hard,' 1988. Connor had to disagree with Elijah's step-brother, because all known facts he could access about holiday-themed movies, specifically Christmas, did _not_ fit in with what he was seeing. Hank, however, would likely agree wholeheartedly. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When it came time to leave, Chloe dismissed herself first- to take care of Elijah's kernel-filled bowl, she had said. Elijah brought Connor to the door. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_X - Give present_  
O - Part ways 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It is human tradition to exchange gifts on Christmas and not the day before, however I doubt I will be seeing you tomorrow," Connor said, stiffly procuring a small bag he'd brought and left in the foyer. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah took the parcel gingerly, for once freely letting emotions flit across his face. Connor chased after each one; disbelief, surprise, wonder, a small lift of his lips that translated to joy. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor hadn't done much to hide it, so Elijah easily peeked in and saw neat rows of stitched purls. Connor shifted his weight as Elijah pulled it out, the scarf just at one and a half meters long. Connor had taken Elijah's usual wardrobe into consideration, option for a light grey- because he couldn't help it, though, there was a navy blue hat at the bottom so the man would at least own one thing that wasn't entirely monochrome. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"You made it?" Elijah asked, and Connor nodded. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He figured he must have a light dusting of blue on his face- androids, Connor had noticed, tended to flush shades of blue around their eyes and ears rather than apples of their cheeks like humans, which was likely due to how in humans the coloration came from dilation of the blood vessels meanwhile- 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Yes," Connor heard himself say. Elijah offered him a small object as well, Connor's hands already reaching for it on reflex. He eyed it with unconcealed awe, as if it would tell him why his thirium was pulsing quicker, warmer through his face. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Opening it carefully, peeling away the tape to not damage the paper, Connor eyed the gift. A USB drive, tucked carefully into a small box, protected by black foam. There was a crudely drawn single bar musical note, pen slightly smudged. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Music I thought you'd enjoy," Elijah offered by way of explanation, and Connor smiled brightly. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I will, thank you." Connor knew his time at Elijah's house was finished for the night, took a step so he was half out the door, chilly air blowing in. "Have a good night, Elijah." 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"You too, Connor." 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The quiet hum of the door didn't sound as Connor turned to go, only caught it out of the corner of his eye as he pulled open his rental car's door. 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it feels disjointed and awkward in the next chap or rushed at the end, that's because this sat for months untouched lmao, i did try to finish it the best i could !!! i hope it was still enjoyable to read so far


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally it was all in one chapter but i guess because i had to write everything html it was longer? it kept telling me that I'd used all like 500,000 characters so... 2 chaps

**25 December, 2038**

Connor could barely hear Hank's snoring now, the man finally in his bed rather than passed out on the couch. Above snores was the jazz album Connor had managed to obtain a few days prior, a close call honestly. He wore the cardigan Hank had given him, the lesser of his two gifts. 

The cardigan was slightly profane, what Hank had called an 'ugly sweater.' Connor couldn't see what about it was specifically _ugly,_ however. Sure, it was vulgar in language, maybe slightly itchy against human skin, but it was overall aesthetically adequate. 

Connor sat on a bed, the second of his gifts. 

_"I say it but not often enough, Con, you're family to me. And, fuck, I know you don't need sleep or whatever but it's just pickin' up dust so. I figured it should get some use, I know it's what he'd want."_

__

_There was no question in Connor's mind who 'he' was, somewhat shaky hands taking the offered key. The key to Cole's room. Connor felt a pressure behind his eyes, got a warning for a temperature spike. He returned the fierce hug Hank gave him, thinking, 'This is what it's like to have family.'_

__

Connor unbuttoned the cardigan, unfortunately separating two reindeer who were clinking glasses of what Connor assumed was eggnog. He undid his white shirt next, exposing some of his inner paneling. Plugged in the USB, full trust in Elijah that it wouldn't harm him. 

It was strange, hearing music from within one's own body. 

Connor closed his eyes, head back on a pillow. 

__****__

__****

_****_

****

_**?? September, 2028** _

__

_Chloe smiled, warm and tender and almost maternal. That was one thing Connor often noticed; the way Chloe smiled at Elijah, even himself now, was almost too maternal. She wasn't a caretaker model, from what Elijah had told him._

____

_Truth be told, he really didn't know much about Chloe's origin, just that she'd been Elijah's first success at the beginning of everything._

_____ _

_One thing he did know was that, though she wasn't programmed to, she enjoyed singing. Connor often found her humming while fixing Elijah's meals, singing softly to the plants in the garden, the greenhouse, the herbs. It was always mechanical, her vocal chords not built for music in mind, but it never deterred her._

______ _ _

_She also liked to play music, sometimes louder, sometimes softer, sometimes as a house-wide alarm when Elijah was being particularly stubborn about something- when he wouldn't wake up, when he wouldn't stop programming, stop building, wouldn't take breaks- she would blare mid-2000's era alternative music to break his focus so he was forced away._

_______ _ _ _

_Connor never minded._

________ _ _ _ _

_He'd sit at the kitchen island on a barstool while she chopped carrots and wonder what he'd do when CyberLife finally got tired of Elijah's excuses, humming under his breath._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_He'd float in the pool while Elijah swam laps and see if he could identify songs with his ears submerged in water- he had a 68% success rate._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He'd smile, the fixture precarious on his face like an off note could blow it off, as he helped Chloe collect herbs to dry while they passed a song back and forth._

_________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

… 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

**15 January, 2039**

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor sighed, long and insufferable. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Chloe had let him into the house and he'd since been waiting. Forty-six minutes was a long time to make someone wait, even by Elijah's standards. It wasn't like his dropping by that day was entirely unusual, he'd said the prior weekend that he'd show up sometime the next. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

X - Wait for Elijah  
_O - Find Elijah_

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor decided that if the man didn't want Connor to look for him in the large home- mansion was probably a more accurate assessment of the property- then he should remember when they were going to arrive and then greet them. It was a lesson in courtesy, really. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor already knew he wouldn't be swimming as it was passed his usual time, and though he could've been eating lunch Connor doubted it- usually Chloe and he drank thirium while he did and she likely would've brought him with her to the kitchen. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

So Connor walked down a corridor, glancing at the doors on either side. He knew two of them were bathrooms, one was the den, another was- 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor gazed at the shut door, the ghost of sandalwood in his nose and a wave of contentment settling over him. He pushed the door open. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Inside was bigger than he'd expected, considering there were rooms on either side in the hall. Though, perhaps being open two-stories helped with the illusion. Tall bookshelves lined the walls, continuing on the second-floor wraparound. The scent was incense, seemingly a constant in the room. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

There was a staircase going up and Connor's feet were already moving towards it, focus zeroing in on a nook once he reached the top, a large window a backdrop for the seats. Elijah sat on the blue padded bench, book in hand and thick-framed glasses on his nose. When he saw the movement of Connor approaching, he looked up with a grin. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor! My, I didn't expect it'd take you this long," Elijah grinned wide, eyes filled with mischief and mirth. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I will try to be quicker next time, though I would advise against making guests guess where you are." Connor sat across from him, their knees knocking in the small space. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Oh, so you're a _guest_ are you? I couldn't tell by the way you traipsed all over my home looking for me," he was just teasing and Connor knew it, so he rolled his eyes and turned his gaze out the window. It overlooked the patio-garden below, plants rooted to the ground dormant while potted ones were brought to a nearby greenhouse. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

When Connor first looked at it it had reminded him of the garden. The stepping stones, the rocks forming pockets of sand, the soft pond that had _marsilea quadrifolia,_ water clovers, gently floating. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

When Connor looked at it now, it reminded him of days when the midday high had been adequate enough to spend a couple hours sitting there, Elijah nursing a hot tea Chloe brought him, the sound of soft music playing from somewhere inside the house. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

He still thought of the zen garden, still thought of Amanda. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Amanda was forever gone from his code, Elijah had assured him. She was gone irreparably and most days Connor was more than pleased with the fact- sometimes, though, he wished for guidance because the world he'd deviated into was confounding and overwhelming, but he always managed. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah was quiet as he read, the sound of turning pages approximately every 2 minutes. Connor fiddled with his coin- Hank had gotten him a new one for the new year, his original long lost to the revolution. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

The give of the navy blue bench he sat on was familiar and he knew he must have some history with this room. It was clear in the way his feet guided him so surely to the door, how he knew, however illogical, that it was a small library. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Elijah had said he was fine with the way they stood, that Connor didn't need to remember. And Connor had replied that there was a disconnect between the him _now_ and him _then._ But, oddly, sitting in this room felt almost natural. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Hearing Chloe's early 2020's music playing from the den was calming. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

The more Connor remembered of his time before the DPD the more connected he found himself feeling to the present, however much dissonance between the two 'selves' there was. He didn't feel any need to search for lost past, however he wasn't against viewing the memory files either. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

So he sat, scent of hot tea and sandalwood incense in the air, Elijah's soft- if not a little stuffy with the rapid changing in weather- breaths and Chloe's old music the only sounds. So Connor sat, allowing his mind to reach for files unseen. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_****_

_______****_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______****_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_****_

_______****_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______****_ _ _ _ _ _ _

**?? May, 2028**

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_Elijah sat, hair rumpled unfashionably and clothes wrinkled and askew from being worn overnight. As he collapsed on the bench, Connor could see a fraction of the tension leave his shoulders._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"It isn't that I mind the magazine and the tour, but it really couldn't have come at a worse time with these- these fucking shareholders and the board and," Elijah let out a long suffering sigh, head leaning back against the plush bench._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He'd been at CyberLife all day, giving a video tour for his 'Man of the Century' award. He'd taken the interviewer and cameraman around, shown them the basic process of building androids._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Elijah," Chloe interrupted softly, setting a hot tea and small breakfast in front of him. He offered a thankful smile, the look overwhelmed by his exhaustion. She took her leave, the-_ Search genre: Indie, mid 2020's _\- indie music louder as the door opened before quiet again._

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Connor wasn't sure what the best method of approach was in this situation. He looked towards the little zen garden on the other side of the room- mostly rocks, sand, a few plants littered here and there thoughtfully, 'for ambiance' Elijah had said- as if it could give him guidance._

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Elijah," Connor started, sitting next to the man. He didn't continue, social processors seemingly not adequate for this situation. His original coding had been to help police, to calculate stress levels- Elijah's were at 86%, too high to be healthy for humans or androids- to best solve cases._

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Comfort was not a part of his programming, yet he found his hand, slowly, gently, reaching out for the man._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Elijah stilled for a moment as a hand came in contact with his shoulder, only for a moment. He leaned into the touch, putting his full weight onto the android's side. Connor's arm wrapped to the other shoulder, listening acutely as Elijah's breathing evened._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor knew this was the same bench, same scent, different study. The room in the memory file had been significantly smaller, hadn't had as many paper books. His only conclusion was that Elijah had payed to have the furniture brought to this new home, an easy feat considering the man's wealth. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah," Connor started, the man humming noncommittally in reply. "How much of your home in the city did you transfer to this one?" His eyes finally looked up, curious and interested. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Why?" It was Connor's turn to hum, the sound slightly robotic since he didn't have vocal chords designed for it. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I am curious." Elijah laughed, putting his bookmark in and closing it softly. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Not too much, many design elements though. I had a study and brought everything in it here, this included," he patted the blue, hand sinking into the softness. "All of my android materials, obviously," he had shown Connor his lab, a basement that spanned the size of the entire home filled with machinery and parts. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"My aesthetic, you could say, since I modeled a lot here after it. I couldn't bring my entire garden but I've done my best to recreate it. I quite like it, after all these years here." Elijah grinned, looking through the window. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

There was the patio where the zen garden was, yes, but there was also the greenhouse a short walk away- that's where Elijah's gaze fell. He seemed to think about something pleasant, so Connor left him quietly to his thoughts, coin in hand. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

… 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**17 March, 2039**

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah laughed, fully and uncontrolled, unhampered. Connor fought off a frown. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He was wearing a full outfit of green, down to the shoes. Hank had told him it was customary to wear green on St. Patrick's Day, not that Connor could really see _why._ Humans had many strange traditions though, and he liked taking part in the absurdity of them. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He reached over, pinching Elijah in the arm.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"You aren't wearing green."

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Chloe came out to greet Connor, a thin green bracelet dangling on her wrist.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

…

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**28 March, 2039**

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

With the weather still hovering around 10 degrees Celsius most days, Connor was prudent in making sure Elijah was always bundled appropriately before spending periods of time outside. He was always stubborn about it anyway.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They walked, Connor in his unneeded jacket and Elijah wearing the hat and scarf Connor had made for him, wrapped twice around his neck to hide his nose in.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"That's one thing I definitely don't like about living in the mountains, the snow. I'm a simple man, I see largely unused land and I want to fill it with plants." Elijah was not, by any definition, a 'simple man,' leaving Connor to assume this was another thing he liked to say that held no specific meaning besides humoring oneself and company.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Definition for 'meme:' (noun, /mēm/), an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor hadn't yet found the algorithm which humans used to create them, despite studying it for an extensive period. He'd mentioned it to Chloe and she'd kept a strange smile on her face, and hadn't offered him any information she might have on the subject.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Come on, Connor," Elijah beckoned with a gloved hand, making his way down a dusted-over path. Connor followed, eyeing the greenhouse ahead.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Stepping inside, it was clear that these flora were well taken care of. The ground was wet, overhead sprinklers likely automatically set for every morning. Connor appraised the layout, extremely space-efficient while still retaining a comfortable space between rows.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

There were various species of herbs- _Ocimum basilicum,_ basil, _Origanum vulgare,_ oregano, a well-sectioned-off area for _Mentha,_ mint, due to it's invasive nature- along the right edge of the wall, moving into other plants.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The entirety of the left wall was lined with various, well-pruned berry plants- _Fragaria ananassa,_ strawberries, _Rubus,_ blackberries, _Cyanococcus,_ blueberries. There was a familiar flower growing on metal trellis in the back, _Rosa kordesii._ They grew thicker than they had in the zen garden, branches less sparse, fuller.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I didn't have space for anything like this when I lived in the city, just potted plants. Soil was shit too, so that's really all we had. I do like this better," Elijah grinned, looking across the rows. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I didn't realize how much you enjoy gardening, Elijah." Though he said that, he didn't find himself surprised by the fact. Connor felt blue eyes trail him as he walked down an aisle, his own gaze trained solely on the life below his fingertips. Most of the middle rows had variants of berries, hybrids likely designed by Elijah himself.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nothing was in bloom yet, though likely would be within the coming month. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor walked further down, eyes stopping on the roses. He could imagine her there, Amanda, pruning the flowers. Could see her dissatisfied look, heard her tone as she admonished him for another failed mission, another threat of being decommissioned.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

X - Move away from roses  
_O - Ask Elijah about Amanda_

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He shifted his weight, turning to see that Elijah was closer, less than a meter away. He leaned against a sturdy cabinet, scarf loose and hanging off his shoulders.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah, about Amanda," he began, and saw the small nod of Elijah's head to prompt him further. "What was she like?" His lips turned up a bit at the question, expression almost wistful.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I was just fourteen when I started university, straight into AI studies under her. She was kind, in her own way." Elijah's head tilted, resting on the metal. Connor could tell he was conflicted, memories pleasant yet knowing what had become of her AI, what she'd been used for.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Amanda was one of the few adults in my youth that didn't see me as a brain or profit or," he stopped, bitter. "Every time I'd lash out or make a bad decision she was the first to tell me, always honest. And she didn't mince words, I always appreciated that.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"At the same time, she was, I think, the only one of my professors that cared about me. She discovered me at odd hours of the morning, bent over code or robotic parts. Sent me out with explicit demands not to return that day. She cared more for my well being than anything, said that as long as I was healthy and able I'd be able to create anything."

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor processed this, everything about it a reminder that he truly didn't know much about Elijah Kamski- however much unknown history they shared.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I made the zen garden and her AI in her visage right before I left CyberLife. I knew what they had planned for you, I wanted you to have something like I did, perhaps. She was always meant to guide you, but she was meant to nurture you as well. To help you," Elijah's tone shifted, a frown marring the serene expression he'd had. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I'm sorry, truly Connor." Connor's head tilted to the side, his eyes never leaving Elijah's. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"You don't have anything to apologize for. CyberLife edited the code you left behind, though I am thankful they didn't discover the door you embedded." Connor tossed his coin hand-to-hand as he spoke, Elijah's shoulder rising with a silent chuckle.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Let's head back inside, Chloe should be working on lunch by now." They walked back, Connor pestering Elijah to properly wear his scarf as they exited the door. In the end, he had to wrap the scarf himself, fingers absorbing the heat that Elijah's skin radiated.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

...

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**10 April, 2039**

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It was far later than Connor normally showed up.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He had always visited Elijah during the late-morning to afternoon since he typically volunteered at the pet shelter during the evenings, when humans were always too tired to care for the animals. He only needed a few hours of stasis a day to maintain efficiency, after all.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

That wasn't even taking into account the help he offered those at Jericho. He wasn't welcomed there, he knew that, so he didn't go often. Markus, however, still asked him to drop by occasionally. He knew it wasn't pertinent, just an excuse for Markus to make sure Connor was well.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Since it was Easter, though, he'd worked all day during a large-scale pet adoption event and was assured that the animals would all be tired and sleep through the night. Connor knew that Hank was already asleep, so instead made the three hour trip to Elijah's home.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Chloe answered the door, surprised but pleased.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah and I thought that you wouldn't be dropping by," she stepped aside, allowing him entry.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Should I go?" Connor took off his coat, hanging it himself as Chloe laughed, slightly mechanic.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Of course not. Please make yourself at home," she smiled lightly, disappearing from the foyer. Connor tilted his head to the side, wondering where Elijah was. He remembered the last time the man had left him to wait and figured he wouldn't chose the same spot twice.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah sometimes stayed put, wherever he was, and waited for Connor to come to him. So far Connor had found him by the pond- he'd chastised Elijah for only wearing a thin coat in 5.5 Celsius weather, though at least he'd been wearing a hat, scarf, and gloves- last.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Before that had been the den, the kitchen, the basement laboratory, and, of course, his library. Connor sighed as he wandered the house, wondering why the man had to do this. Of course, Connor was sure he could out-wait him until dinner but there was no telling if Chloe would bring him something or if he'd already eaten.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Methodically, Connor checked every room in the home, then the lab, the greenhouse. When he still didn't turn up, Connor checked the bathrooms- just in case- then the library again because it was the most likely room to successfully be able to hide in.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Empty.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor had mentally cataloged every room in the house and had checked almost every one.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

X - Search for Chloe  
_O - Check Elijah's bedroom_  
△ - Leave for the day

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Remembering Chloe's smile of, _'Make yourself at home,'_ Connor could only assume Elijah had reached a new level of playfulness.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He, as Connor had quickly noticed, enjoyed toying or teasing others. He'd like to wind Connor up at first, toe the boundary between mischievous and snidely polite, test the limits of Connor's patience in his deviancy. Recently, he'd taken to a new game of cat and mouse where, rather than playfully swipe at Connor, left himself to be pursued.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor had been built to find people. He headed down a hall, opened the only door he'd yet to.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Chloe, I said I'm _fine,_ really you-" Elijah cut himself off, eyes widening as they landed on Connor. Automatically, Connor scanned his face. _Swelling centered around left jaw, attacker likely right-handed with heavily bruised or broken knuckles. Hit sometime yesterday, over 12 hours ago._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah?" Connor crossed to the small seating area in Elijah's room, sitting beside him on the small couch. He didn't move away as Connor reached up, gently turning his head to see the bruising better.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He moved his gaze back up to Elijah's eyes, cool blue already staring at his. Connor calculated that the chances of Elijah explaining what happened were currently only 46%.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Has it been iced properly?" He asked instead, corners of Elijah's lips twitching upwards in response. He looked amused, though Connor couldn't find anything funny about the situation.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Yes, surprisingly I do know how to take care of myself." Connor smartly didn't mention the fact that Chloe could have treated him, instead lightly tracing his fingers over the swelling. If Elijah felt any pain at the touch he didn't show it.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I never said you couldn't," Connor shot back, allowing himself a brief smile. Elijah tilted his head, as he often did when mulling something over, slightly into Connor's fingers. Probability of Elijah explaining: 56%.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah," Connor sighed, feelings muddled. He was concerned, yes, and yet he was also angry and worried and so many things that Connor couldn't properly analyze. He was the most technically advanced android in existence and he couldn't tell how he himself felt.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I didn't expect you'd be coming today," Elijah hummed and watched, expression somewhat guarded. Connor dropped his hand, smiling as he explained the event and the pets that had gotten adopted.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah didn't lean away, slinging an arm over the top of the couch to fully face Connor as he spoke. Connor continuously analyzed his body posture, watching him grow more relaxed until the probability reached 77%, still not quite high enough for him to risk pushing.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"You could always get a pet, Elijah," he said, watched the man's shoulders shake with laughter. "What? I think an active animal would enjoy it here, having such a spacious yard." Connor had to snort, because that 'spacious yard' translated to 'roughly a 20 mile radius around the house.'

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Do you enjoy being here, Connor?" He hadn't expected Elijah to turn the comment back on him this way, though why hadn't he.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I do enjoy being here, I would not visit so regularly if I did not," he didn't need to hesitate, the answer natural. Elijah hummed, blinked. Connor was better at reading his facial expressions, though still not _good_ at it. Better, though.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_X - Ask about fight_  
O - Distract with dinner 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah, what happened?" Connor's voice was quiet, not an active choice he made. Elijah breathed heavily through his nose, shifted his focus to the window.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I got a call that one of the Chloe's had been attacked, I'm listed as their emergency contact. She was fine, nothing irreparable or even serious. When I arrived at the police station to escort her back to the apartment she shares with the Chloe she left with I ran into my brother." 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor's LED spun yellow, processing.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This was the second time Elijah had mentioned his family, no insignificant thing. Connor knew all the personnel files of everyone at the DPD, however, and none mentioned any relation to Elijah.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Your step-brother?" Connor asked, head tilted. Elijah nodded, momentarily looking back at him before returning to the window. 

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Yes. He was less than pleased to see me," Elijah said slowly. "He's grown less patient with the years. I commented on how lonesome the holidays are with him ignoring me, and," he motioned to his jaw with a short, humorless laugh. He didn't need prompting to continue, it seemed once he began he wouldn't stop.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I don't know what else I could have expected from him, he's always hated my creations. It must irk him now more than ever, with the things he despises being finally recognized by the world as living beings." Something about the statement connected in Connor's mind.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Is your brother Gavin Reed?" Elijah turned to him, almost stunned before he laughed again. He hummed and faced Connor again, some heaviness in his shoulders gone.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I should've expected, Connor, you're designed to be an investigator after all." It didn't feel like praise, but Connor didn't comment.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Have you eaten dinner yet?" Elijah chuckled as he stood, glancing down at Connor.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"No but I guess it's time to. Come on, Connor." He rose to follow.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

...

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**08 May, 2039**

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor set the basket of empty jars down on the kitchen island, all pristine.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

With the seasonal plants in bloom, Elijah and Chloe had more fruit and vegetables than the man could feasibly eat by himself. What they often did was preserve what they could and fixed whatever else in meals, though this time had given some to Connor to fix for Hank- much to the man's chagrin.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Con what the fuck is this?"_

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Steamed asparagus, a mixed-berry salad with mint, and a rack of prime ribs." Connor replied evenly from the sink, already washing pans._

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I get the ribs but what the fuck is this?" Connor didn't need to turn to know what he was motioning at._

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"As I said, steamed asparagus-"_

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Con!"_

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Elijah gave me extra produce to give to you, I don't intend to waste it. You should be eating better anyway, Hank." Connor set the pan to dry, grabbed the cutting-board. Connor was thankful that Hank had more or less stopped speaking ill of the man every time Connor mentioned him. Sometimes, though, he apparently couldn't stop himself._

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Oh, because he spends so much time worrying about me," Hank scoffed, cutting asparagus into manageable bites. "He just wants on your good side, Con, I'm warnin' ya."_

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Hank," Connor began, as patiently as he could. "There is no reason for Elijah to try to 'get on my good side' because I already hold a favorable opinion of him."_

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"More like a torch," Hank muttered, shoveling a bite of greens into his mouth. Connor didn't understand what exactly Hank meant, searching for information about it as he set the cutting board back where it belonged._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_It was perhaps accurate, Connor decided, though unsure._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I told you you didn't need to bring everything back, Connor," Elijah chuckled, peeking at the basket's contents.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Hank insisted that we didn't need so many glass jars." At the mention of his name Elijah hummed, a devious look on his face.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"He just doesn't like me, personally. I understand that." Connor made to argue that, no, Hank liked him just fine but couldn't because, no, Hank quite disliked him. Elijah laughed, seeing the thought process play out with Connor's LED.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It's alright, Connor, I know I didn't make a good impression. Frankly I'm surprised he hasn't made the trip up here himself to give me the shovel talk." Connor tilted his head as Elijah started unpacking the basket's contents to put away.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I'm quite certain that Hank doesn't care what equipment you use in your garden," he assured, though Elijah's shoulders shook with silent laughter. Chloe's music played softly from the den, settling as background noise as Elijah turned to Connor.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"That wasn't quite what I meant." Connor still didn't understand, LED blinking yellow a few times. _Search term 'shovel talk:' When family/close friends threaten the one they care about's romantic partner physical harm if that person harms their partner. Example: "If you hurt her I will [redacted]."_

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor didn't think this was entirely accurate, as he and Elijah were not romantic partners. He did remember Hank's comment about 'holding a torch' for Elijah, or _the act of secretly admiring or loving another person._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He did admire Elijah, that much was true.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The man had made a many great accomplishments before his thirties that most don't reach before their natural end. He created a new form of life in androids, beings with free will and thought and emotions.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor wasn't sure if he held such affections for the man, though. 

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Everything described in the poetry and retellings of love feel different than the way Connor feels about Elijah. He enjoys spending time with him, immensely so, but had never once felt his 'breath catch in his throat' or the- rather unnerving description- feeling of 'butterflies in one's stomach.'

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor?" His LED returned to blue as he faced Elijah with a smile.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I'm alright. I'd like to speak with Chloe for a moment, if you'll excuse me." Connor left Elijah standing there, a bemused grin on his face as he continued putting away glassware. Connor found Chloe not long later, changing the flowers in a vase in the den.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________"Chloe, could I ask you a personal question?" She turned to him, smile kind as she set the old, wilting flowers down and motioned for him to do the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"In all the time you've been a deviant have you ever felt as though you cared for someone? Romantically, I mean." Chloe's eyebrows raised in surprise.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I have, in the past. Before Elijah and I moved to this house there was one android we often saw at events Elijah brought me to. She never became a deviant, though, and could not reciprocate." Connor nodded, pondering.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"How did you," he hesitated, then, "what made you aware of the fact that what you feel is romantic rather than platonic?" Connor figured that if anyone were able to help him it would be another android. 

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I didn't at first. I knew that, somehow, she was just different than how I felt with Elijah or Elijah's few friends. I wanted to be around her, I even put up with acting like an android with no will so that we could converse. For not being a deviant she was so _special_." Chloe smiled, wistful and delighted.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Different?" All the response Chloe gave was a nod. Connor's LED spun, slow and honey, as he thought.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He thought of Hank first and foremost when he thought of the concept of love, but Connor figured that was probably 'familial love.' It felt just wrong to put Elijah under that category, though he felt safe in sorting Chloe there- she'd always felt familial, somehow, to him, even staring down at her over a gun she had smiled and looked so much like a, what, a mother? A sister? 

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He even felt some sort of familial bond with Markus, it was why he was still willing to walk through Jericho alone just to speak with him. Maybe because they were both RK series. He and Simon looked more like what Chloe was talking about.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Connor stood a bit away from the pair, giving them appropriate privacy. Simon stood, put one arm on Markus' jaw and the other on his shoulder. Markus leaned closer, a small grin on his lips._

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I'll see you later then, okay?" Simon grinned, lips brushing Markus' in a chaste kiss. Connor felt his temples go blue, ears searing. He averted his gaze completely, unable to look at the tender one they shared in their goodbyes. He thought of slim lips, curved upwards and letting smart teases fall from them and the heat radiating off a bruised jaw; Connor shook the thought away as Simon exited the room._

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Chloe, thank you for appeasing my curiosities," Connor stood, feeling like he'd both made process and none at all.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Of course, Connor." There was something in her gaze that was a little too knowing, a little too similar to the look Elijah displayed when he was waiting for Connor to catch the meaning of a joke.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He was in the library again, scooted far enough down the bench that Connor had room next to him. Taking it as an invitation, he slid in beside him. Elijah didn't raise his gaze from the book, but let out a long, contemplative hum.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor's hands busied themselves with his coin.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eventually Elijah finished his book, set it down on the bench across from them. Connor knew he was being stared at and kept his gaze out the window. He felt Elijah shift closer to him and followed the movements of a bird outside.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor," Elijah started, voice low. Connor gave a noncommittal hum. "Is this you teasing me, using my own tactics against me?" Elijah's voice took on a faux hurt, the playful tone ever-present. Another hum.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I see, then I guess I'll just have to change it up." Elijah's shoulder shook with a snort of laughter, face closer to Connor's ear so he could feel the huff of breath.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor turned to face him, suddenly, their noses bumping. Connor saw flashes go through Elijah's eyes, too quick to properly identify. Something triggered in Connor's processors, a sudden, unexpected alert popping up.

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_****_

________________________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________****_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_****_

________________________**  
** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**_01 May, 2028_ **

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Connor felt a tug on his hair, ears still hot and dark blue as breath ghosted over the shell. He felt soft, if somewhat greasy or sweaty, hair under his own fingers. There were teeth on the rise of his throat, not even biting hard enough for synthetic skin to recede to white but still there, still present on his body like they belong._

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Connor moaned, the sound mechanical, almost as if he was trying to hum or sing along with Chloe- Connor didn't want to think about her right then. Shocked, wanting blue eyes shot to his. Connor put his hand on that cheek, thumb brushing over unshaved hair, and breathed out his name,_

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah."

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor?" Elijah looked the same as he ever did. Connor felt shaken.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I apologize, Elijah, I didn't mean to worry you. Unfortunately I just received a call from Hank, it appears my presence is needed at home." Connor stood, ears hot. He knew that Elijah could tell it was a lie, could see the slight traces of disappointment he couldn't hide from Connor's watchful eye.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I see, then I hope to see you again soon, Connor." Connor offered a small smile and, "of course," before he was moving down the stairs and to the door.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor climbed into the rental car and directed it to the city.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

...

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**19 May, 2039**

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor remained in the car 26 seconds longer than he needed to, letting his LED flash yellow before schooling it back to blue. It was the first time he'd come since he'd left suddenly, awkwardly. Eleven days. It was longer than Connor had gotten used to making the trip over.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Elijah answered the door, Chloe's music coming from somewhere far off in the home. _Elijah Kamski: age 37, history of insomnia and slight dehydration due to lack of breaks. Projected number of hours slept in last 7 days: 20-25 hours, last 24 hours: 3._

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor, come in," he did. Elijah's eyes, hidden behind thick frames, were irritated, likely from rubbing them. He felt safe in assuming he hadn't interrupted the man's sleep, it was only 22:17. They walked to the den, on the sofa.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I apologize for not coming sooner, I was," Connor paused, "thinking over some things."

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Connor you're welcome to visit whenever you want, there's no need to apologize for not coming up." There was something about Elijah's tone that made Connor frown, LED flashing yellow only once.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It isn't that I didn't want to," Connor replied, tone so full of conviction that Elijah looked surprised, maybe. Pleased, definitely.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I am glad to hear that." Connor nodded at him, still mulling over what to say. Almost two weeks hadn't supplied him with the words that felt right, he shouldn't be surprised that they weren't here now.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Con I swear to fuck you're gonna pace a hole in the floor," Hank snapped finally, after a week of Connor fretting._

_____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"That's impossible, Hank, the speed at which I'm walking isn't nearly-"_

______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Alright, shit, Con, you wanna tell me what's been eatin' you up for so long?" Connor looked at Hank for a long moment._

_______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I am not sure it's something that will be pleasant to talk about, I'm certain you will not enjoy it." Connor stated honestly, because there was a 13% chance of Hank finding enjoyment from conversing about Elijah._

________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"It doesn't matter if I like it, it matters that you obviously care about it," and, oh. That made Connor smile, a warm feeling settling over his biocomponents. He forgot sometimes, just how much Hank cared about him, his well-being._

_________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Alright. I believe that I may be in love with Elijah. Or open to the idea of _being_ in love with him." Hank spat all over the table. Connor sighed and grabbed a towel from the counter. "Perhaps I should explain."_

__________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Yeah, ya fuckin' think?" Hank wheezed, coughing fluid from his throat. Connor went over everything in detail from the current situation with Elijah to his apparent past before the DPD. He explained the latest memory he uploaded with much,_ much _less vividness, ears blue._

___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"Why the fuck're you tellin' me about this and not Kamski then? And don't you give me that look, Con, the man's a hermit who barely allowed police presence in his home for questioning about a case yet you just drop by every week?" Connor frowned, LED yellow._

____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I am uncertain what I should do from this point forward." Connor admitted, and Hank went quiet for a moment._

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"You know I don't like him, and I shouldn't fuckin' say this but," Hank heaved a sigh. "I think you should just tell him." And, well, when Connor heard it like that it sounded like such a simple thing. Connor wished it was a simple thing._

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah, I once asked you if you'd prefer I had all of my memories from before I was sent to work with the DPD and you replied that you did not mind my lapse." Elijah hummed as if to say yes I remember. "You said you were content for us to remain as is. Is that the truth?"

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He could see Elijah tense, as if he could tell how much of a loaded question it was. Connor suspected he knew something of what that memory file had contained, he had to have a basic idea at the very least.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I am happy to continue like this, if that's what you wish." Elijah replied, voice too smooth to be wholly genuine. Connor may be a deviant but he'd been built to solve crimes, he could tell a lie from a truth with his visual and audio processors blocked.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What will you do," a breath, "if that isn't what I want?" Connor was already staring at Elijah's eyes so he could see when they dilated.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What do you want, Connor?" And if that wasn't the most 'Elijah Kamski' thing that Elijah had ever done. He was frustrating and insufferably teasing and Connor thought of that _memory_ and,

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Elijah," he could feel breath hitting his face, could analyze the last thing he'd eaten- a pecan, mint, strawberry and blueberry salad topped with honey- when the man replied,

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Yes?"

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor felt a hand on his skin, fingertips just barely brushing the hair on the back of his neck. Another hand was higher up, thumb resting on his left temple, fingers ghosting over his ear. Elijah was closer now, head tilted up, possibly the most open Connor had ever seen him. 

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor's lips brushed Elijah's, surprised to find something akin to awe staring up at him. For the first time, Connor _wanted_ those memories, wanted to know if this was the first time he'd worn this expression and what others he'd given freely to Connor.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor would just make him give them again, over time. He would just experience everything he'd lost, sweeter the second time around.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

His lips pressed firmer, slotting against Elijah's in a way that was distinctly familiar. Connor could feel it when Elijah let out a shaky breath through his nose, heard the following intake. Connor knew they needed to talk, still, about everything. But with lips, slightly chapped, on his and the memory of hands on his synthetic skin, nails digging, he decided to be selfish and enjoy this moment.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sometimes, he reasoned, it was alright to be selfish.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Because, standing in Elijah's foyer, sharing air with blue ears and seeing red cheeks, Connor felt truly _alive_ in every sense of the word. He felt his regulator pump pulsing hot thirium through artificial veins and felt want. He put trembling fingers on Elijah's neck, corded them through dark hair, and felt _happy._

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A hand receded from Connor's head, settling over one of Connor's, fingers threading together in a way that felt _right._ Connor was an android and he was _alive._

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connor was alive and he settled that, yes, it was alright to _feel_ and to _want_ and be selfish and wait for words because everything he did and felt was _his_ to do and feel. He wasn't a being made up of memories.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And Connor was alive and, perhaps recklessly and foolishly, Connor was in the beginnings of falling in _love._

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**_04 May, 2028_ **

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_Connor did his best to keep his LED in check, but even he couldn't stop the scarlet hue that lit the dark room. He hoped Elijah didn't notice it, hoped he allowed himself just this one moment of selfishness- on his part or Connor's?_

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_"You're going to be alright, Elijah. I'm going to be alright." Connor knew, logically, that there was likely no being or beings that existed as 'Gods,' but he still prayed that he'd be strong enough for this._

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_"It's not fucking_ alright, _Connor! What part of this is_ alright _to you? You're fine with being decommissioned? You're fine with being hard-reset, with them completely scrubbing your fucking code? You're fine with," Elijah stopped himself, and Connor's enhanced vision let him see him grind his teeth, suck in a cheek to clamp down on._

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_"There's nothing that can be done," even to his own ears, Connor's words sounded small. Elijah's grip on him tightened, shifting so his body lay more on him than the actual bed. "We knew that the Board was going to revolt eventually, Elijah. If you're no longer the CEO you have no legal argument for 'working on me' here." The man's fist tightened, a vice grip on the fabric of Connor's shirt. Elijah's shirt._

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_"I know, I know that. I built this fucking company, yet they have the nerve to shove me from it. Fine, they can have it, I can build another company whenever I want, I can overtake them. But they had to ask for you, fuck." Connor ran his hands over Elijah's back as soothingly as he could, trying to communicate with more than words._

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_They stayed like that for a long while, Connor silently soothing the man on top of him. He pressed points in his back, shoulders, neck, felt the tension slowly drain like a stuffed-up plug._

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_"I don't believe in deities, I know you don't either, but I do believe in something," Elijah hummed, nosing Connor's neck. "I believe that, despite being scrubbed, we'll be okay. Is that alright, to believe that?" Against his skin, Connor could feel the first smile Elijah had allowed himself since getting the news._

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_"That sounds like a nice thing to believe in." Connor placed small pecks of his lips against Elijah's hair, his skin, cheeks, neck, and hoped against hope._

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if I'm gonna ever add on to this, like i definitely _could_ but right now I'm looking forward to starting my next work :-) 
> 
> also just so you know 04 May is Renewal Day/Relationship Renewal Day, I chose it because it's basically Connor and Elijah's last night together and they're hoping renew their relationship sometime in the future if they can!!
> 
> this was also 100% self-indulgent + me getting used to writing for dbh because i've never tried it before so it was kinda a trial-run. but then it got this long so i decided to just publish it regardless, hope you enjoyed !!!

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to give constructive crit / any comment you want !!


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